Oh How Gauche!

 

 

Recently on Facebook, my son started a conversation about what you would like to have your farts sound if you had a choice.  Some of the answers were very, very humorous!  But I have friends who think that discussing “farts” (or in more correct terminology, flatus) is very gauche!  If you are offended about these conversations, I apologize for the offense.  It’s just that in our family, we talk about, laugh about, and even sometimes ponder the act/smell/sounds of farts.

For instance, have you ever wondered why expelling flatus makes a noise?  Think about this. Even baby farts make a noise. Now, remember when you were a kid and wanted to learn to whistle. Contrary to popular belief, there is more to whistling then just puckering your lips and blowing. Not that easy. But farts? Oh no...farts make a noise...you don't have to try. You don't have to learn "how". It just happens.  Makes one wonder why we were created that way. My theory is that sometimes there is a not so nice smell that accompanies that noise, so we were created that way to issue an audible warning that if you hear that sound, you may want to relocate your body...and fast.

My son pointed out that not only do they make a noise, but different noises too. “Some grumbly as though your butt is grumpy. Sometimes like a whine, as though your but is sad... “ He went on to say that he feels the magic of farts is that it's a surprise every time!

Now…If you feel disgusted with this conversation, let me tell you another truth about flatus.  I was a nurse in younger years.  And there is no one who is more interested in flatus than a nurse.  If a patient farts, it is a good sign that things in that part of their bodies are working.  We (nurses) like flatus.  Flatus to a nurse is a very good thing because it is a sign that bowels are working, and a hospitalized patient always runs a risk of constipation…another gauche topic to some.

Let me just finish by saying, into every life a little flatus must come.  It is a natural part of how we are made.  It is a part of the plan of life.  We may not like it.  We may not like to talk about it. But it is a natural part of living.  And as a person who believes it is best to “embrace” life in all its aspects, I imagine I will continue to talk about and laugh about farts…even if it is considered “gauch”!